We have had to bury some of our favorite people and critters in the past few years. It’s been pretty hard. From the beginning, Ben and I decided not to shield our kids from the mystery of death. Instead, we have taken them to all the funerals, viewings and so on and let them ask all the questions they wanted to, hoping it would help them understand a couple things.
First, dying is part of living. We all get to do it. So live like you’re dying, cause reality is, you are.
Second, say what needs saying. If it’s ‘I love you’. Say it. Or if it’s ‘I’m sorry.’ Say it. Don’t carry stuff like that around. Only bodies get buried when someone is gone, not feelings.
Sometimes, teaching life lessons come with some sort of repercussion….
When our cat of eleven years died, W asked with great concerned, “After we pray over him…will we be going to the bar to eat?”
“The BAR?” I just about died, my own self. THAT, wasn’t a lesson I was trying to teach. But the more I thought about his statement, the more it made perfect sense.
When we lost my brother and dad, at some point, we went to the bar to eat both times. Where I’m from in Nebraska, the small towns have a bar and that’s about it. It’s where you go to get milk and bread, drink coffee in the morning, have dinner at noontime and a drink in the evening. Basically, a gathering place. A lot of times, when someone dies in the community folks take food to the bar and to the family’s home.
So, W’s question wasn’t that far off. Besides, he admitted to having a hankering for some chicken strips and a Shirley Temple.
When Barney thinks of funerals he thinks of when we buried a Great Grandpa. He remembers the flag draped casket, the 21 gun salute and Taps. He was so impressed and moved by the ’soldier’ aspect of the funeral at four years old , he stood at attention saluting and whispering “This is soooo cool.”
If that’s not respectful…I don’t know what is.
I said all that to say…
I’m glad my kids are comfortable with funerals.
They had a nice one for Tom, our goldfish, and we just had one yesterday for our snowman.
May he rest in peace.
Amen.
Sandhill Sis
Fabulous. Really. And your son is right, a military funeral with full honors is soooo cool.
ohhhhh, that was your snow man?
So you all are so much more grounded than I. We’ve been battling cancer with our 14 year old dog and I just can’t resolve to let her go.
$3000+ in surgeries we can’t afford. $100 in monthly herbs and vitamins. I need to learn from you all and just let go and go to a bar. (wistful smile) Maybe next month…
I love the imagery of the military funeral. We often assisted in funerals at our ROTC and my reserve unit. The 21 gun salute and taps chokes me up every time.
Oh Scout, I’m sorry about your dog. I grew up on a farm I’ve had to put a lot of things down. I never got used to it. I understand the mercy and peace it brings. But it hurts.
Hey I have an idea…after you stop at the bar you could pick out a brand new puppy to leave alone while you’re a swimming practice. I hear cleaning up after a puppy is healing.
sphnicker sphnicker sphnicker
Thank you for your service to our country. I love all the freedoms I have because of people like you. I understand freedom isn’t free, so thanks.
Here’s to healing.
Sandhill Sis
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