The next day I went back to the jail to see how Mrs. Jones fared through the night. (If you are wondering who in nine counties is Mrs. Jones, click here to catch up and read her, budget busting, tale of woe.) I found Mrs. Jones making new friends. Turns out when you murder credit cards in cold blood you gain jail house respect, who knew. I took her to a private holding cell where Mr. Jones is waiting, for more questioning.
Mrs. Jones, I’m surprised to see you here this morning. Did the judge revoke your bail, because the brutality of the crime?
The Jones exchange looks and appeared to be, well, jonesing.
Mrs. Jones says, “No, nothing like that. [Sniff] We just don’t have the cash. It’s, it’s, it’s his gambling addiction. He started gambling again, three months ago. That’s when we started falling behind. But, he has promised to get help.”
I’m sorry. Gambling or any addiction is no laughing matter. Addictions are very hard on personal budgets, often draining savings accounts dry. It is something that needs to be addressed. In the mean time, I’ve called in Gabby, a personal finance guru and attorney, to evaluate your situation.
When Gabby arrived, I get this feeling we’ve met before. Maybe she just reminds me of my persona, SINthia. Anyway, her presents calms the Jones allowing them to see hope on the horizon. I take out the ’basic quickie budget form’ (they filled out the day before) from Dave Ramsey’s website, and handed it to Gabby. It’s no wonder they feel desperate…
“It appears your mortgage isn’t out-of-line with your income…why do you have a second mortgage? Was it a remodel?”
“No, Gabby, it was to pay off our credit cards.”
“I see. And your cars, tell me about them.”
“Sure, [sniff] my car is only worth $11,500 according to Kelly’s Bluebook. That’s just one more thing we are upside down and behind on. And, [sniff] my husband just HAAAAD to have a new car even though he puts over 40,000 miles a year on it with his job. But, that’s not all…he, well, he, ummm, leased it and now we are behind on the lease. I HATE THAT CAR!” [whaaaaa]
“I hate it when I work,work work, and never have any money!” Mr. Jones said, twisting off.
“All you do is spend, spend, spend and I just try to keep our household running and there’s never enough…” Mrs. Jones was yelling.
Gabby’s expression never changes. She has seen it all before, and certinaly doesn’t do drama, just facts. She quietly looks over her ’cheater glasses’ and says. “A house divided won’t stand. Ya’ll need to grow up and get a grip. You’ve been through a lot, but none of this is a deal breaker. If you both take responsibility for your actions, lock arms and promise to do better, you can get through this….Now, I’m seeing a lot of credit card usage. Can you explain?”
Mr. and Mrs. Jones were dumb founded. They looked like a couple of coons caught in the cookie jar.
“Well, I guess when you spend all your money on material things and fun first, you don’t have much left over for the necessities.” Mr. Jones said.
“I know this sounds bad,” Mrs. Jones started, “But, I shop for therapy. I love looking for bargains and going to lunch with my friends.”
“I’ve seen many cases like yours before, Mrs. Jones, I think I can get you off, with time served and probation if you plead guilty to murder in self-defense. You said you like to shop for bargains, your not going to find a better deal than that. You need to take it and run.”
“In the mean time, Mr. Jones, as an accomplice to murder, you need to find some money. Sell something or a lot of things if you have to, get your wife out of jail and start an emergency fund. You need $1,000 in the bank in case of an emergency. It may sound like your getting off scott free, but, part of your probation will be building a zero budget, something you’ll have to work on together with Mrs. Jones.”
With that, she handed them a blank Monthly Cash Flow Plan, a free download from Dave Ramsey.com.
Of course. It always comes down to paperwork, doesn’t it?
Tune in next time to see if Mr. Jones will spring his lovely felon from the clink, or leave her to a life of jailhouse confessions, tattoos and weight lifting… choosing instead a life of a fugitive, dodging responsibility, John Walsh and America’s Most Wanted.
From the jailhouse,
Sandhill Sis
Tags: America's Most Wanted, budget, credit cards, debt, emergency fund, fugitive, John Walsh, Simple Money
“The Jones exchange looks and appeared to be, well, jonesing.”
You’re cracking me up. You really are so imaginative, or crazy. I choose imaginative.
“jailhouse confessions, tattoos and weight lifting… choosing instead a life of a fugitive, dodging responsibility, John Walsh and America’s Most Wanted.”
Ha Ha Ha Ha!!
You need one of those old time radio shows where we can hear the inflection in your voice. Now THAT, would be even funnier.
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