Passport Pictures: Just one more reason not to get out of bed in the morning

I’ve been excited lately about life, as opposed to being in a funk. I hate funks, especially hormone related funks. But that’s another story. I’m excited about my new pistol, Reggie. (Yes, I name my guns. You can read about him here.) I’m excited about the possibility of carrying concealed. With that possibility comes a class and passport picture. That’s where the deal starts to go south in a hurry. I hate getting my pictures taken.

But, as I tell the kids, some days you just have to man up. So after taking a bit of my own medicine. I manned up and got my passport picture taken. The gentleman that took it was just that, a gentle man. The picture his fancy camera took was over exposed and nasty. Probably again no fault of his own, with flash and automatic settings and all. I’ve taken more than my fair share of bad pictures, too.

I’m sure the fact that I was almost out of nose powder and  was sweating profusely at the thought of having to get my picture taken had nothing to do with the poor quality picture. Or that it was overcast and misty that day, making my hair frizz. That had nothing to do with it either. Or the fact that I haven’t been running lately because of the weatherI’m lazy and storing fat up for hibernation surely isn’t his fault. Besides that the camera can add at least 20 pounds, right? That surely won’t affect the picture right? But the straw that broke the camera’s camel’s  back was my ding dang dong flat iron chose that day to quit working. Why God why? I’m mean really!

So, I got out Reggie and got in a little target practice at my flat iron’s expense. Then, after all that, out of pure spite, I went and got my picture taken.

 If you were expecting another money saving post this isn’t it. I spent more on ammo making sure my flat iron was dead, than a new one costs. But all that aside, one shot one kill. I feel better. Thanks for asking.

So here’s the picture that is somewhere between hell and hell near as I can tell. He took it right when I was trying to decide if I should smile or give them my mean hunter’s face. Unfortunately, my nostrils were somewhat flared and I had a deer in the headlight look. I’m sure the FBI will take one look at it and say…’nope, definitely not, she’s not getting a license, she’s a pure-d-criminal. ‘ That, coupled with the data on the day I bailed my friend Russell out of jail, there will be no hope of gaining one.

Thank God there is ways to fix pictures now days. My question is…which should I submit?

Sis the cage fighter…

“I coulda fought better, Howard…”

Sis the pirate…

“Arrrr you going to give me a license?”

Sis the flower child.

“Share the love and communism and not concealed carry licenses.”

My evil twin, she devil, SINthia…

Meow!

Okay, I’ve lost every shred of dignity I had and proved I have no future career in Photo Shop editing. To put the final nail in my coffin, please vote on which one I should submit with my paperwork.

Thank you for playing.

Sis

Tags: concealed carry, funny, funny passport pics, humor, passport pictures, pistol packn mama