Ben and I are celebrating our 15 year anniversary today. Kind of. In reality? I need to finish planting our garden, put clean clothes away and whoop a clean on this dirty farm house. After school the kids will have homework and maybe ball practice. Ben has to work late, then has a bluegrass gig. Our plans for a romantic steak dinner for two with our traditional white cake and fresh strawberries (just like our wedding cake) will have to wait. A gal could just get mad, but I’m choosing to look at it differently. We’ve come a long way, the two of us.
Shortly after we met we decided we just couldn’t live without each other and had to get married, but waited for three months to tell our parents. MiMi, Ben’s mom, said “Oh-my-God, Ben, you can’t get married!…Oh congratulations! *hugs*…I need a cigarette!” (This outburst is still simply hilarious to me.) Fifteen minutes after my dad met Ben he said, “Hell, his ears ain’t but that big *holding up his encircled fingers*…no bigger than a quarter.” But agreed later to let Ben marry me anyway after he asked, regardless of his ear size. Truth was, Dad probably needed a cigarette too.
Four months later he gave his only daughter away in a tiny Marine Corps chapel in Arlington Cemetery,Virgina. The cherry blossoms were still in bloom and when the sun hit them that day it made the air smell great. I was in a homemade wedding dress and dad in a hand-me-down suit. Mom read from our old family Bible, and the lady I nannied for stood up with me. The flowers I held were white lilies tied with a piece of fraying fabric from my dress and there was a sprig of baby’s breath in my hair. Ben was in his dress blues. *sigh* Just the thought of it still makes my heart leap. Pictures were snap shots taken by friends and Tim, our best man, another Marine, saluted me with his sword. I felt rich, like a queen, even though my chariot was an old 1987 blue and white Chevy pick-up (with dents in each door and really loud pipes) and our wedding jewels weren’t jewels at all, just plain white-gold bands–paid for from tips I stashed while working at a steakhouse. It was simple, just like our love.
A lot can happen in fifteen years. That song, Remember When by Alan Jackson pretty well sums it up.
I guess when you marry young you’re not quite set in your ways and instead of trying to fit two stoic pieces into the marriage puzzle, young folks can be a little more shape-able. We have became one. A one that is still constantly changing, hopefully for the better, but at least together. Add to that weird mix a couple of boys, a couple of cats, an old farmhouse with issues, some home cooked meals, one homemade G string, some bluegrass music and here we are.
I don’t have any words of wisdom for staying together except read this book. I’ve learned that real love is fragile but resilient. It’s get-your-hands-dirty, messy. It’s gray not black and white. It’s happy and heartbreaking–a true paradox and the closest thing I’ll find to heaven this side of eternity. When I think of Ben, I think of riches untold, from talent to character. I’m sure lots of which I have yet to see in him or discover. It’s been quite a journey, one that I wouldn’t want to be on with anyone else.
There is nothing left to say except…Happy Anniversary, Darlin’, now hand me that pile of laundry…
Simply,
Sis
Tags: anniversaries, love, making a marriage last, marriage, relationships, Simple Love, true love
I remember that day. I remember crying the whole day because I couldn’t be there. I cried again today when I read about it. Not because it brings me sadness but because of the special love that you two have. I remember when Ben told me about you. He said, “Mom, I’ve met a girl. She’s just like me”. I remember that I could hear him smiling on the phone.
Congratulations for the past 15 years and for the many happy years to come.
Mimi
How sweet! I’m sure you’ve told me the story before, but it was good to see it in black and white. And you didn’t say a word on the phone this morning! I should have remembered what day it was…. it’s the day after my grandson’s birthday. Anyway, sometimes your anniversary is just another ordinary day, such as you’ve described. But it’s all about who’s there beside you during that day. And I know you don’t take any of that for granted.
Happy Anniversary to my friend, and praying you are blessed with many, many more!
Congrats on the 15 years!!! That is an accomplishment!!! I agree that is’t not back and white…….its grey with HUGE burst of color mixed in! Jesus has deffinatly shown his Grace on the two of you!!! Keep in touch!! Love ya!!
Connie
Thanks gals!!!
MiMi–The best part of being married to Ben is having you for my other mom.
Patti~ ‘it’s all about who’s beside you…’ Amen, Sister!
Connie ~ Grace the very definition of the word has kept us together.
Thanks for your kind words, friends. Sis
I enjoyed reading this so much. Happppy Annnniversary you two! I thought about you on your day and should have called.
You two are such an inspiration for when the going gets tough, the tough gets going. Congrats on 15 years! Looking forward to another 15+++ years. The best part of you all being married is I finally have a wonderful sister and cherished friend. **hugs**
Happy Late Anniversary! I looked at that picture and didnt even realize it was you guys until i read the post and then looked at it again! I love that photo – great shot! Congrats on making it to 15! You will have MANY more together I am positive of that!