My favorite thing to do is dicker. Haggle. Barter. Bargain. Horse trade. Whatever you call it, I like it. Lucky for me the world is full of opportunities to do it with garage sales, estate sales, thrift stores, Craig’s List, and flea markets at ever turn.

My dad came from a long line of horse traders so I got to watch world class dickering first hand. Not that I’m a world class dicker-er, but. And that’s a big butt…I did pick up a few tricks along the way.

You have to try. If it hair lips the queen, ask. The worst thing they can do is say no. I like to say, “Is that your friendliest price?” Some folks say, “Is that the best you can do?” or “Would you take less?” or “Can I leave an offer and if you don’t sell it you can call me?” All of these work. I just prefer “Is that your friendliest price.”

Have an idea of what you want to pay. I’m cheap, and have a long list when I go to garage sales and only so much in my garage sale envelope so usually can come up with a top dollar that I’m willing to pay.

Be willing to walk. Don’t be married to what you have your eye on. People can pick up on your body language, so keep your cool. There is always a better deal waiting down the road. Good deals happen all the time, just looked on Craig’s List when you get home.

Be nice.Smile. Have fun. Make it a win-win if you can. If they say no or start whining about how good the price is already or how they just opened or how could get a better price. That’s okay. I just say something like, “It’s a nice piece, but for that price I think I’ll pass. Thanks for considering it.” I’m always surprised when they come down after that.

Take cash. It’s an instant lock on the deal.

Okay, ready to see it in action?

My good buddy and I had successfully pawned off six out of seven children on our husbands and we were off to hit every garage sale in the big city…life was good and the buffet dinner we had for lunch was even better. We were wrapping up our day and pulled up at one last garage sale that was just closing. “This is perfect,” I thought, “Who wants to haul all their crap back into their garage?”

We got out and starting looking. Said friend, had picked up a few things right away. Outside of commenting on a couple old stadium seats, I was acting coy and uninterested.

“You’ve got a lot of games ahead of you, Mamacita. Those stadium seats would be nice,” she said. (She calls me Mamacita. I LOVE THAT. It reminds me of something my dad would say.)

I walked on. She paid. We were leaving and almost to her van and I asked over my shoulder…

“Is that your friendliest price on the stadium seats?” (Three dollars each. I was going to take them if he would come down to five for both.)

The guy giggled. I knew this was going to be fun.

“Friendliest price… *sphnicker sphnicker sphnicker* What did I have on them?” He said walking toward the seats.

“Oh, I don’t know, three dollars I think…

Still smiling he said, “Three dollars. That’s pretty friendly. My wife and I used to watch our kids play ball on those…”

Oh, he’s good I thought, bringing up the personal side.

Then suddenly, like a snickers bar floating in the swimming pool…”IF YOU DON’T BUY THEM, I WILL!!!” It was the lady I rode with…bellering.

Oh no she didn’t! Oh yes, my friends she did. I thought I had been shot. I’ve never felt so utterly betrayed. What could I do? I did the only thing I could…

“SSSSSHHHH!” I said, snatching up the seats and throwing my money of my shoulder. All six dollars of it.“Shuuud-up! See if I ever take you garage saling again. What were you thinking? What the…? Are you kidding me? Trader! Who’s team are you on? With friends like you…”

The friendly little man was holding himself and laughing uncontrollably. “Thanks and come back anytime.”

Loser. He should have paid us six dollars for the show.

“Don’t you know how to dicker?”

All the way home I heard…

“I’m so sorry. OMG I can believe I just did that. Oh…Mamacita…I’m so sorry.”

There it was again. That name she called me. That’s probably what saved her.

“Don’t ever do that to me again.”

“Will you forgive me?”

“Can I put this on my blog?”

“Will you leave my name out?”

“Maybe. What’s it worth to ya?”

“Six dollars.”

“Is that your friendliest price?”

When it comes to dickering, she’s a fast learner.

Do you dicker?

Simply,

Sis