Every year about this time I’m resolute in my resolutions… this year is gonna be different. This year I’m going to get into the best shape of my life. *cough cough* After parts, pieces and promises of butt busting equipment I wonder.. Are we there yet? If I took every promise I’ve bought (and sold) and halved them, stacked them on top of each other would I be there? Heck I’d probably only weigh five pounds, if that happened. But, exercise doesn’t work that way, does it? As I was sipping some whine wine and watching my latest how to safely do this exercise without killing yourself, but making you way too skinny and beautiful, your boobs bigger and life better in seven days video my mind started to wonder; how many pieces of excercise equipment and or dvds etc… have I owned?

Jeeesh! This may be a little like trying to name old boyfriends…awfully telling and/or embarassing. But I’ll try, as every one needs a New Years giggle.

2000–Blowflex (the original)

I used it faithfully for two weeks and bought a treadmill. Ben used it 2-3 times a week for years. We bought it for $1200 and sold it for $300 in 2006.

2000–Treadmill –a cheap one from Walmart.

I used it faithfully for two weeks, until it made this sound… huummm cla-chunk huuummm cla-chunk. When I called and talked to John in India the first thing he asked was how much do you weigh? *click* (See cat doctors aren’t the only ones I hang up on). I took it back to Walmart.

2003–Some kind of elliptical–$75  on clearance from Walmart.

I used it for a month. I used it seven times in a month, at most. It broke. I took it to the dump.

2004–The gazelle.

I bought this swing thing on the Internet for $125. It made the bottom of my feet burn. So I called customer service, AGAIN. And hung up on them, again, when they asked if I had athlete’s foot. “Uh, no! Like that’s any of your business.”  *click* I sold it to a church lady (who said, ”I can really see myself using this…”) at our garage sale for $75. Sphnicker sphnicker.

2006–Billy Blanks Bootcamp three dvd set with bands for$45.

I did them faithfully for 2.5 years, lost 35 pounds and sold them for $3 at a garage sale (without bands). The fairly hefty lady who finally bought them said, “Do they work?” What kind of question is that? It all works if you do it. What a stupid question I thought, but reality is I’ve asked the same one every time I’ve gotten a piece of equipment. ”Sure,” I answered. “They are butt-kickers and you’ll want to follow the lady that doesn’t squat as far as everyone else. But yes, they work.” SOLD!

2007–Billy made my hips hurt, so I switched to The Firm videos use free with a friend. 

These are great videos that firm and lift as promised (as long as you promise to do them and push yourself away from the table when you have your share of calories.) Daaang-get! I hate that disclaimer!

2008–Running Shoes $45 (didn’t use them until 2009).

We ditched the gym and ran for, oh, three months–four tops. It got cold and school started and we quit. I don’t care what they say about running being addicting. It’s not. Exercise that you enjoy can be addicting, but I don’t know that running is for me. Maybe if I lose another 30 pounds. Or not. Probably not. I’m still wearing the shoes in hopes people will perceive me as a runner, since I have one of them short rounded running bodies — complete with the muffin top and other unmentionables everyone wants. *hurl*

So here we are in 2010, the new year is here and resolutions are rolling. I’ve spent days reading reviews and having firm talks with myself  involving large promises of a sunny beaches and fruity drinks if I make my goal…Days later this appeared on the treat truck…

The Wave by The Firm.

Are you kidding me?  That brings the total to eight in ten years. How many pieces of equipment do I need?

The answer: exactly enough to keep me interested.

Sounds expensive.

Real expensive.

Dave Ramsey isn’t gonna like this.

What’s your New Year’s resolution?

Simply,

Sis