The next day I went back to the jail to see how Mrs. Jones fared through the night. (If you are wondering who in nine counties is Mrs. Jones, click here to catch up and read her, budget busting, tale of woe.) I found Mrs. Jones making new friends. Turns out when you murder credit cards in cold blood you gain jail house respect, who knew. I took her to a private holding cell where Mr. Jones is waiting,  for more questioning.

Mrs. Jones, I’m surprised to see you here this morning. Did the judge revoke your bail, because the  brutality of the crime?

The Jones exchange looks and appeared to be, well, jonesing.

Mrs. Jones says, “No, nothing like that. [Sniff] We just don’t have the cash. It’s, it’s, it’s his gambling addiction. He started gambling again, three months ago. That’s when we started falling behind. But, he has promised to get help.”

I’m sorry. Gambling or any addiction is no laughing matter. Addictions are very hard on personal budgets, often draining savings accounts dry. It is something that needs to be addressed. In the mean time, I’ve called in Gabby, a personal finance guru and attorney, to evaluate your situation. 

When Gabby arrived, I get this feeling we’ve met before. Maybe she just reminds me of my persona, SINthia. Anyway, her presents calms the Jones allowing them to see hope on the horizon. I take out the ’basic quickie budget form’ (they filled out the day before) from Dave Ramsey’s website, and handed it to Gabby. It’s no wonder they feel desperate…

“It appears your mortgage isn’t out-of-line with your income…why do you have a second mortgage? Was it a remodel?”

“No, Gabby, it was to pay off our credit cards.”

“I see. And your cars, tell me about them.”

“Sure, [sniff] my car is only worth $11,500 according to Kelly’s Bluebook. That’s just one more thing we are upside down and behind on. And, [sniff] my husband just HAAAAD to have a new car even though he puts over 40,000 miles a year on it with his job. But, that’s not all…he, well, he, ummm, leased it and now we are behind on the lease. I HATE THAT CAR!” [whaaaaa]

“I hate it when I work,work work, and never have any money!” Mr. Jones said, twisting off.

“All you do is spend, spend, spend and I just try to keep our household running and there’s never enough…”  Mrs. Jones was yelling. 

Gabby’s expression never changes. She has seen it all before, and certinaly doesn’t do drama, just facts. She quietly looks over her ’cheater glasses’ and says. “A house divided won’t stand. Ya’ll need to grow up and get a grip. You’ve been through a lot, but none of this is a deal breaker. If you both take responsibility for your actions, lock arms and promise to do better, you can get through this….Now, I’m seeing a lot of credit card usage. Can you explain?”

Mr. and Mrs. Jones were dumb founded. They looked like a couple of coons caught in the cookie jar.

“Well, I guess when you spend all your money on material things and fun first, you don’t have much left over for the necessities.” Mr. Jones said.

“I know this sounds bad,” Mrs. Jones started, “But, I shop for therapy. I love looking for bargains and going to lunch with my friends.”

“I’ve seen many cases like yours before, Mrs. Jones, I think I can get you off, with time served and probation if you plead guilty to murder in self-defense. You said you like to shop for bargains, your not going to find a better deal than that. You need to take it and run.”

“In the mean time, Mr. Jones, as an accomplice to murder, you need to find some money. Sell something or a lot of things if you have to, get your wife out of jail and start an emergency fund. You need $1,000 in the bank in case of an emergency. It may sound like your getting off scott free, but, part of your probation will be building a zero budget, something you’ll have to work on together with Mrs. Jones.”

With that, she handed them a blank Monthly Cash Flow Plan, a free download from Dave Ramsey.com.

Of course. It always comes down to paperwork, doesn’t it?

Tune in next time to see if Mr. Jones will spring his lovely felon from the clink, or leave her to a life of jailhouse confessions, tattoos and weight lifting… choosing instead a life of a fugitive, dodging responsibility, John Walsh and America’s Most Wanted. 

From the jailhouse,

Sandhill Sis

I have to ask how were you able to live on the budget.  I try to stick to a budget, but stuff always gets in the way.  I’d love to know how you were so disciplined.

Discipline is a strong word for me, I don’t do well with it. Actually, I do better with a life plan, I wrote about it here. I don’t think money is much different than diet or exercise. I like the way I look and feel when I exercise, so I get up and do it everyday. I like the way I look and feel when I don’t over eat all the time, so maybe I won’t take that second helping. Money is the same way. I like the secure feeling when we have money left over at the end of the month, so we stick to a money plan.  

Money is nothing more than a tool in your life toolbox. A tool you have to have to survive in this world. Dave Ramsey says personal finance is 20% head knowledge and 80% behavior. So it’s a change in the heart, first. This is the hardest part because it involves emotions and relationships. Here is how the shoe leather meets the road…

Admit you need to change.  Before you start a budget or a spending plan, ask yourself, are you ready to change? Can you look yourself in the eye and say “I’m ready to change”! Until you want to change, it won’t happen. If you’re married, your spouse will have to get to that point too. Keep in mind, you can only change yourself, though. You can’t make others change with you.

Accountability. Whether married or single you have to have a partner who will hold you to your plan. If your married you need to be on the same page. If you can’t agree with your spouse on money, it may be a relationship issue, don’t be afraid to get some help. If you don’t know what your page looks like educate yourself: read a book, find a person who is out of debt and ask them how they did it, or email me (it’s what I do). There is lots of free help out there.

Get mad. I mean mad. If you are at a point in your life you can say, “I won’t EVER live like this again.” PERFECT. Use that anger at your past money mistakes to sling shot you into control of your finances. Where you have the freedom of choosing what your money will do for you,  instead of letting your money make those choices for you.

Forgive yourself. So you screwed up, your human. Leave the past in the past, learn from it and move on. Don’t waller in defeat when you can move on to victory.

Congrats! You’re 80% of the way, to sticking to your future money plan. If you want one, that is. Riddle me this! Do you even want a money plan? Or Are you happy with where you are financially? Why or why not? You can email your answers to me at sis@reclaimsimplicity.com or just leave a comment.

More to come!

Sis

If you are already wondering what fish, funerals and flushing have in common, probably not much, unless you live with me, that is. I can tell you still have half a mind, so you don’t live with me.  You probably just missed Goldfish Living, so you may need to catch up here. Go ahead. Catch up. I’ll wait.

W, my oldest, used to say, “I’m tired about…” I love it, and say it all the time. He’s tired about me being tired about. But despite the eye rolls and deep sighs, I say it anyway. I just can’t be trained. The one thing I’m most tired about is the buzz words that fuel goldfish living. So, I’m flushing a few buzz words. Just because I can.

Diet, is the first word to go.  I hate that word,  that just makes me what to eat more. Diet to me means, yes to junk food, yes to second helping and yes to bigger fat jeans. For me it’s not about making food behave. Who really wants to do that? Have you tasted fat free? I’ll pass.

Exercise:  You first! Couch taters unite. My heart and hips are just fine, thank you. Pass the clicker, tater chips and stretch pants.

Budget. Now there’s a dandy. May as well get out the credit cards, check book, cash and drain the savings accounts. I’m buying everything I’ve pasted up  in the past 10 years that I didn’t buy the first time, cause ‘I have to stick to my budget.’

Practice. How mundane. I ‘m thinking my boys would help flush this one. Whether it’s an instrument, sport, or some discipline (like goat roping, yoga, crawdad hunting), practice takes all the enjoyment out of my guitar.

Schedules. Yep, I’ve tried them and don’t like them. Too much structure. Everyone wants a piece of my time: church, school, family, work, gym, and hobbies. Somethings gotta give, and I’m tired of it being me. 

On three their gone. Uno…doce…trece… and as some short person once said, ‘good-bye poopies, have a nice day.’

 Why do I do this to myself? Usually it’s out of guilt or obligation to something or someone I feel strongly about. It’s all about EMOTIONS. Our society is so emotional about what others think we forget to ask ourselves what’s best for us.  So, I think emotions deserve a flush all to themselves. It seems my emotions flushed just fine but I’m still left with hormones. Dang! (Put the plunger down, Sis, and back away slowly.)

There, I feel better. Truth is, I do all of these things. I just call them something different.  Something  more empowering. Wanna know what I call them now?  I’d tell ya, but I’m feeling a little drained right now. Stay tuned as I build back to simplicity.

Simply,

Sis