Here we are midsummer and gardens across the nation are producing wildly, including mine for the most part. I’m worried about my broccoli and cauliflower though… It doesn’t look so good.

It seems my broccoli has been stripped naked and my cauliflower is suffering from…oh I don’t know squatters.

In my garden, squatters don’t have rights, neither do their kids.

Before you call me in for neglect…let me say I did seven dust these a couple of times. I sang to them. I watered them. I loved them. This is the thanks I get.

My first year for growing broccoli and cauliflower, may well be the last. However,  give-up isn’t really in my vocabulary, here’s what I did to solve this gardening problem.

In the most safe natural and organic way…I called in the moving van for the squatters. I backed it in and even loaded them and their household on the truck.

Like a giant redneck mobile home caravan we went off to to find them a new home. (I can say that…I’m a redneck who has lived in a mobile home. No harm no foul. Just trying to paint you a picture.)

I drove them across our land to a sanctuary.

This is my burn pile. I think they will like it here.

I carefully unloaded them. Gave them a nice drink of gasoline and threw a match on them and ‘ran like the wind, Bullseye,’ until I reached the safe zone.

Problem solved.

No more squatters.

Green, organic and effective.

I’m sure with this hot gardening tip I’ll get the gardener of the year award followed by a master gardeners certificate. Goody goody.

No autographs, please.

Stay tuned for more gardening tips…

From the Rock Star of Gardeners.

Sandhill Sis