W found the knife guy right away. After he spent a good 20 minutes smelling around looking for a boot knife, he finally decided he needed a diving knife. Keep in mind their are no oceans here in the middle of Kansas and darn few lakes that would be clear enough to make diving enjoyable. However, by-golly we’ve got boots. Bunches and bunches of boots. All that aside, he needed a diver’s knife. (Ben told me boys could never had too many knives or guns. Shocking thing is, I believe him.) Anyway. W wanted something he could strap on since they were lacking boot knives.

The last thing I told them before walking in was don’t forget to dicker. Deputy Barney all but ignored me and W just nodded. So I’m acting uninterested. At least as uninterested as I can with a camera in my hand. Reality is I had to be there to say it was okay to sell a ten year old a concealable diving knife, when W said this…

“Eighteen dollars! Is that yer friendliest price?

“I’d go fifteen for you.”

W nodded and immediately said, “Thirteen?”

The knife dude looked at me, shocked. I suddenly was in a conversation with myself about gum or something, digging wildly in my purse.

He smiled after a good long  as he felt his profits going out the window and said, “I guess…for you *sigh* I’d take thirteen.”

W handed him twenty. I about died. There’s nothing better than coming home with a little cash still in your pocket. I hate to brag, but dang I’m proud.

Poor Barney on the other hand didn’t have as good of luck.

He wanted a croking frog and before he even got to the dickering part, the old man in the top hat said, “Buddy, those are my wife’s frogs. If I don’t come home with exactly enough frogs and money she gets maa-add.”

So Barney just paid him and the man said, “Go ahead and pick out the one you want. Try them all out.”

Barney already had and said, “No, I’d hate to make your wife mad. She sounds mean.”

Frogman almost peed himself laughing. You  would think with that kind of comedic timing he would have given a discount, but what do I know?

Simply,

Sis

My favorite thing to do is dicker. Haggle. Barter. Bargain. Horse trade. Whatever you call it, I like it. Lucky for me the world is full of opportunities to do it with garage sales, estate sales, thrift stores, Craig’s List, and flea markets at ever turn.

My dad came from a long line of horse traders so I got to watch world class dickering first hand. Not that I’m a world class dicker-er, but. And that’s a big butt…I did pick up a few tricks along the way.

You have to try. If it hair lips the queen, ask. The worst thing they can do is say no. I like to say, “Is that your friendliest price?” Some folks say, “Is that the best you can do?” or “Would you take less?” or “Can I leave an offer and if you don’t sell it you can call me?” All of these work. I just prefer “Is that your friendliest price.”

Have an idea of what you want to pay. I’m cheap, and have a long list when I go to garage sales and only so much in my garage sale envelope so usually can come up with a top dollar that I’m willing to pay.

Be willing to walk. Don’t be married to what you have your eye on. People can pick up on your body language, so keep your cool. There is always a better deal waiting down the road. Good deals happen all the time, just looked on Craig’s List when you get home.

Be nice.Smile. Have fun. Make it a win-win if you can. If they say no or start whining about how good the price is already or how they just opened or how could get a better price. That’s okay. I just say something like, “It’s a nice piece, but for that price I think I’ll pass. Thanks for considering it.” I’m always surprised when they come down after that.

Take cash. It’s an instant lock on the deal.

Okay, ready to see it in action?

My good buddy and I had successfully pawned off six out of seven children on our husbands and we were off to hit every garage sale in the big city…life was good and the buffet dinner we had for lunch was even better. We were wrapping up our day and pulled up at one last garage sale that was just closing. “This is perfect,” I thought, “Who wants to haul all their crap back into their garage?”

We got out and starting looking. Said friend, had picked up a few things right away. Outside of commenting on a couple old stadium seats, I was acting coy and uninterested.

“You’ve got a lot of games ahead of you, Mamacita. Those stadium seats would be nice,” she said. (She calls me Mamacita. I LOVE THAT. It reminds me of something my dad would say.)

I walked on. She paid. We were leaving and almost to her van and I asked over my shoulder…

“Is that your friendliest price on the stadium seats?” (Three dollars each. I was going to take them if he would come down to five for both.)

The guy giggled. I knew this was going to be fun.

“Friendliest price… *sphnicker sphnicker sphnicker* What did I have on them?” He said walking toward the seats.

“Oh, I don’t know, three dollars I think…

Still smiling he said, “Three dollars. That’s pretty friendly. My wife and I used to watch our kids play ball on those…”

Oh, he’s good I thought, bringing up the personal side.

Then suddenly, like a snickers bar floating in the swimming pool…”IF YOU DON’T BUY THEM, I WILL!!!” It was the lady I rode with…bellering.

Oh no she didn’t! Oh yes, my friends she did. I thought I had been shot. I’ve never felt so utterly betrayed. What could I do? I did the only thing I could…

“SSSSSHHHH!” I said, snatching up the seats and throwing my money of my shoulder. All six dollars of it.“Shuuud-up! See if I ever take you garage saling again. What were you thinking? What the…? Are you kidding me? Trader! Who’s team are you on? With friends like you…”

The friendly little man was holding himself and laughing uncontrollably. “Thanks and come back anytime.”

Loser. He should have paid us six dollars for the show.

“Don’t you know how to dicker?”

All the way home I heard…

“I’m so sorry. OMG I can believe I just did that. Oh…Mamacita…I’m so sorry.”

There it was again. That name she called me. That’s probably what saved her.

“Don’t ever do that to me again.”

“Will you forgive me?”

“Can I put this on my blog?”

“Will you leave my name out?”

“Maybe. What’s it worth to ya?”

“Six dollars.”

“Is that your friendliest price?”

When it comes to dickering, she’s a fast learner.

Do you dicker?

Simply,

Sis